Intro

If you think about it, there's really nothing funnier than a private club.  When a group of people attempt to set themselves up in an exclusive, insular environment, it begs the question, "What's really so good about them?"  As Robert Frost said. "something there is that doesn't love a wall."  My viewpoint probably mirrors Groucho Marx -- "I don't want to belong to a club that would have me as a member."  One could point to the decline of golf as the basis for questioning the rationale for country clubs and their private club urban cousins.  Golf probably served a purpose when it became popular in the early 1900s, as getting out of the city was more a necessity than today.  A trip to New Delhi today would probably give a good indication of the filth and squalor one would encounter in our own cities back then.  Today fathers are more involved with familial duties and fewer families can afford (or want) the domestic staff that make long leisure hours feasible.  The article referenced above also mentions the bigotry and sexism that seem the unwritten bedrock of these clubs' charters.  Indeed, the clubs that I'm familiar with seem to have made zero effort to bring themselves into the new century.  Charity efforts are limited to fashion shows or perhaps golf tournaments (but overall charity efforts are considered womens' work).  Efforts related to disaster relief, housing/clothing for the poor, etc., may go on but they are not publicized and the general public is certainly not invited.  The big old country club in my city does have a tennis tournament, but that's it.  Of course, many people have visited country and private clubs for functions (this is where they help cover the enormous loss leading food and beverage operations).  I don't know if this is such a good idea, as one objection I would have to joining is the poor quality of food.  Indeed, you have to wonder if there is some kind of reverse snobbery going on as members wolf down warmed up crap that surely just came out of giant institutional sized tin cans.  Oh yeah, how many canned pears with cottage cheese have I gotten as the "salad"?  Check out this article describing the fare at the Trump National Los Angeles -- par for the course (obviously written by a liberal food critic!  Here's a Yelp review from a diner at a private indoor tennis club near me run by Club Corp (now mercifully closed) --

"This is for the dining room... AWFUL and no wonder it is always empty. It's never been more than 1/4 full at the busiest time of the day. I've been several times and it's always been "okay". Today I decided never again. I ordered the Grilled Cheese, which the menu describes with all kinds of different cheeses, a tomato pesto type sauce for dipping and "sounded" like a gourmet version of my childhood favorite. Well, what I got was... Texas Toast with Velveeta cheese and a small condiment dish of marinara sauce. I'm not joking. There were no gourmet cheeses, nothing special about it. Disgusting. And I paid $14 plus tax AND a 20% service fee for that?  NEVER AGAIN."  Yum!

While we're at it. might as well rub it in with this club.  Here's what a tennis player had to say --

"In bait-and-switch fashion, I found it difficult to impossible to schedule a tennis court during the day.  After a number of failed reservation attempts and a little legwork, I found their courts reserved for summer tennis camp.  WTF? After expressing my chagrin to staff, they offered an option of putting my membership on-hold, for $35 per month, until summer was over and the campers finished."  --Yeah, sorry you paid $$$thousands to join and $$hundreds per month dues, so won't be able to play tennis in the summer so we can skim even more money from some school whose students are too delicate to play outdoors.

And finally a look at how an actual member was treated --

"This is a nice club and the amenities are good too, however the staff is not very friendly.  There are a few people that are very nice however overall management is terrible! In addition, the management takes sides with members that they favor and treat other members like crap.  I suggest you stay away from this place unless you want a senior member to attack you verbally and physically in the fitness center and the club not do anything about it, as what happened to me.
I plan on contacting clubcorp corporation as well as the DA and Im considering filing charges against him."  --That's what I want, to pay so much $$$ and then consider calling the DA!  (So sorry down payment nor refundable!)

To be continued --